32
I turned 32 a few days ago. So far, I must say, 32 sucks.
ok, ok, I'll try to avoid a bitch session about how old I feel and how I literally sense my ovaries drying up as I type, but oh well. So yeah, I just said it anyway.
Seriously, I am feeling a bit tired right now. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Exhausted really. (Strange how I just got back from vacation?!) That explains the physical part.
Spiritually, I feel like I am doggie paddling, at best.
I guess, mostly, it's emotional. My heart is just tired. I am tired of feeling.
As a child of the 80's, I have fond memories of Pat Benatar. Well, Pat, if "love is a battlefield," the past year was my emotional Normandy.
The spring of last year, I had renewed hope. A lot happened. I wasn't looking for any of it. It all dropped in my lap actually. Over the course of a year, God opened up to me a few new relationships. They just ended up being hard and painful and left me freakin wounded. I felt like He set me up. It seemed He went to a lot of trouble just to disappoint me.
It's all still raging. But I quit.
Life is hard. People are hard. Loving is hard. but right.
And I guess I can't regret doing it.
Ugghhh. This blog is starting to sound stupid. and sappy.
and there's a lot of run-on sentences.
I don't care. I'm 32. I'll write whatever the hell I want on my own blog!
(oh, by the way, did I mention I am totally pms-ing?)
But don't you dare start diminishing my feelings because I mentioned pms. So help me, I will come through this computer and beat you with your mouse.
Oh. Sorry.
You can stop reading now if you want.
But actually, I think I will try my hand at redeeming this post and instead of continuing to rant, give you yet another list...
TADA.
Here is my list of 32 things I am thankful for at this precise moment-
1. Patty Griffin's song "Rain." It is on repeat right now and it's as comforting as a cool blanket.
2. My new purse
3. I don't have to be at work until 7:45 tomorrow
4. The pilot episode of Bionic Woman comes on in like 9 days
5. The down comforter in this Marriott is sweet
6. Pima cotton t-shirts
7. Sephora (which I strolled around in again today)
8. People who don't expect me to always call them
9. Friday is payday
10. I'm going home then
11. I still have Sadie
12. Harry Potter
13. post-it notes
14. martinis
15. text messages
16. hot water
17. I have strong fingernails
18. Knowing people have probably stopped reading this
19. I don't have any photographs to get to anyone right now
20. The dentist (I broke a tooth yesterday and I should probably go get that looked at.)
21. Insurance
22. Advil
ok, screw this. Since I feel 22 anyway, I am stopping there.
I am going to bed.
Oh, that's 23.
ok, ok, I'll try to avoid a bitch session about how old I feel and how I literally sense my ovaries drying up as I type, but oh well. So yeah, I just said it anyway.
Seriously, I am feeling a bit tired right now. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Exhausted really. (Strange how I just got back from vacation?!) That explains the physical part.
Spiritually, I feel like I am doggie paddling, at best.
I guess, mostly, it's emotional. My heart is just tired. I am tired of feeling.
As a child of the 80's, I have fond memories of Pat Benatar. Well, Pat, if "love is a battlefield," the past year was my emotional Normandy.
The spring of last year, I had renewed hope. A lot happened. I wasn't looking for any of it. It all dropped in my lap actually. Over the course of a year, God opened up to me a few new relationships. They just ended up being hard and painful and left me freakin wounded. I felt like He set me up. It seemed He went to a lot of trouble just to disappoint me.
It's all still raging. But I quit.
Life is hard. People are hard. Loving is hard. but right.
And I guess I can't regret doing it.
Ugghhh. This blog is starting to sound stupid. and sappy.
and there's a lot of run-on sentences.
I don't care. I'm 32. I'll write whatever the hell I want on my own blog!
(oh, by the way, did I mention I am totally pms-ing?)
But don't you dare start diminishing my feelings because I mentioned pms. So help me, I will come through this computer and beat you with your mouse.
Oh. Sorry.
You can stop reading now if you want.
But actually, I think I will try my hand at redeeming this post and instead of continuing to rant, give you yet another list...
TADA.
Here is my list of 32 things I am thankful for at this precise moment-
1. Patty Griffin's song "Rain." It is on repeat right now and it's as comforting as a cool blanket.
2. My new purse
3. I don't have to be at work until 7:45 tomorrow
4. The pilot episode of Bionic Woman comes on in like 9 days
5. The down comforter in this Marriott is sweet
6. Pima cotton t-shirts
7. Sephora (which I strolled around in again today)
8. People who don't expect me to always call them
9. Friday is payday
10. I'm going home then
11. I still have Sadie
12. Harry Potter
13. post-it notes
14. martinis
15. text messages
16. hot water
17. I have strong fingernails
18. Knowing people have probably stopped reading this
19. I don't have any photographs to get to anyone right now
20. The dentist (I broke a tooth yesterday and I should probably go get that looked at.)
21. Insurance
22. Advil
ok, screw this. Since I feel 22 anyway, I am stopping there.
I am going to bed.
Oh, that's 23.
posted by Mandy at
10:17 PM
3 Comments:
Mandy! "Rain" by Patty Griffin is my favorite! I play it over and over in the car. Gage probably has it memorized. Love you!!!!!
Lyra! I have YOU to thank for my favorite song of the moment. I was beginning to think (and appreciate) that no one reads this blog anymore.
I miss you!
Girl, you know I'm gonna be reading your blog. I miss you, too. Can't wait to celebrate my b-day with you. Love you!
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